Dissociative disorders

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dissociative-disorders/symptoms-causes/syc-20355215

  • The link above will lead you to the rest of what I have copy and pasted here. A lot of people do not know about dissociative disorders. to some we are just weird, wishy-washy, we let people down, make one choice and then the next day another choice. This is a disorder that can be buried in the middle of other mental health illness.

I copy and pasted this from web MD. I don’t have a lot to write about this disorder. I posted in hopes that people can understand more about mental health and if someone sees signs in someone they love, they can reach out and get them help.


Dissociative disorders are mental disorders that involve experiencing a disconnection and lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions and identity. People with dissociative disorders escape reality in ways that are involuntary and unhealthy and cause problems with functioning in everyday life.

Dissociative disorders usually develop as a reaction to trauma and help keep difficult memories at bay. Symptoms — ranging from amnesia to alternate identities — depend in part on the type of dissociative disorder you have. Times of stress can temporarily worsen symptoms, making them more obvious.

Treatment for dissociative disorders may include talk therapy (psychotherapy) and medication. Although treating dissociative disorders can be difficult, many people learn new ways of coping and lead healthy, productive lives.

Symptoms

Signs and symptoms depend on the type of dissociative disorders you have, but may include:

  • Memory loss (amnesia) of certain time periods, events, people and personal information
  • A sense of being detached from yourself and your emotions
  • A perception of the people and things around you as distorted and unreal
  • A blurred sense of identity
  • Significant stress or problems in your relationships, work or other important areas of your life
  • Inability to cope well with emotional or professional stress
  • Mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts and behaviors

Complications

People with dissociative disorders are at increased risk of complications and associated disorders, such as:

  • Self-harm or mutilation
  • Suicidal thoughts and behavior
  • Sexual dysfunction
  • Alcoholism and drug use disorders
  • Depression and anxiety disorders
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder
  • Personality disorders
  • Sleep disorders, including nightmares, insomnia and sleepwalking
  • Eating disorders
  • Physical symptoms such as lightheadedness or non-epileptic seizures
  • Major difficulties in personal relationships and at work
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A walk with Jesus. baby steps

Walking Through It

                There is not one thing in this world that can instantly take our life and change it. Everything that we do is a process, it takes planning and work. We could instantly have decided to do something, but then we need to follow through on it. We cannot just wait for something to come along and instantly change our life 100 percent; if that is what you are waiting on, you are going to be sad, bound, and forever lost in the chaos of life, constantly changing and moving never actually happy and satisfied.  I had a conversation with a friend once she had been going thought a huge battle of depression with a lot of hurt and pain. I tried all that I could with my friend, giving her my testimony of how God changed and delivered me and she just could not shake it. I became so sad for her and eventually frustrated because I knew that it was not me that  could save her or cure her; she had to want the cure and the saving. I asked her “if you had cancer, and the doctor gave you the cure for cancer, would you put the cure away and still cry that you have cancer?” I expressed to her that GOD can cure our life, he can make our complete mess, something amazing, we must take the cure! She responded, “It’s not instant.” That response sent me almost off my chair in shock. I truthfully had a little fester of anger stir up inside of me. Not reacting to the anger, I realized, it proves the microwave nation and society that we live in today.

There is nothing instant in this life, even if something instantly happened to you, there was still a process that happened before, maybe you had nothing to do with that process, I can assure you that someone somewhere did. Even instant soup takes 3 minutes.

There is something frustrating about waiting on something when WE WANT IT NOW! We are a now society that has been taught and molded that everything needs to happen at the speed of light and if we wait, we are going to be left behind. The frustrating thing is we don’t know patients,at least I did not, maybe I am just speaking for me. We get an idea and it Just-Has-To-Happen-right-now! Don’t worry about the planning, don’t worry about the cost, we have a card for that, and most importantly, don’t worry about the consequences it will have on us or those around us, because this is what is going to make me happy right here and now.

Right after I was baptized in that wonderful name of Jesus, I took off running. I needed it all right then and there or I was “Just going to DIE” I needed to heal people In Jesus name, I needed to cast out devils in Jesus name, I needed to become a missionary and spread the gospel of Jesus everywhere, I needed to become an ordained minister,and yes! Even a pastor’s wife, better yet, I needed to be with an evangelist,and have about 6 children all preachers and missionaries. “Yes, this was all going to be for you GOD, now GIMMY” Little did I know, God was not sending me to be all those things, he needed me to slow down and walk through it all. He wanted to heal the hurt and pain in my heart and my wounded spirit. I was completely blinded by this because I was so used to shoving down all the hurts and pains so that I can get on with life. “I am over it” was my number one line.

                My hopes in this blog is to help take our minds off the “I want it now” thought process and to start allowing our-self to walk though it and allow God to be God. This is something so hard to let go of, our very own God complex, our very own hopes and dreams. God wants us to get off his throne, and allow him to have it back.God wants us to walk with him side by side, and not run ahead thinking that we know what is best for us. God wants us to patiently wait and allow him to work.Romans 5:3 the suffering we go though WITH GOD allows us patience.

God is right there with his handout, just waiting to help you get past all the hurt and pain in your life: He wants to walk with you through the process. The Healing process is not going to be instant, there is no time line or complete check list, every one of us has a different past and walk with God, He knows the way; grab a hold of his hand and walk with him.

                 I hope to encourage you, and help you dig deep with-in yourself. I pray that this blog helps you change the things that most frustrate you about you. I pray that what is hidden in darkness inside of you is brought to the light, not for others to see but for you personally to have a revelation (This is a private relationship and walk with God, in your own little garden.)  I hope that this blog will help you look deep within yourself and heal from the past hurts and pain. Change takes courage,and I know you have that courageous lion deep within you just waiting to be let loose. Through countless hours of prayer, council and absolute honest testimony of my life experience, as I am walking though mental health too, and building my relationship more with God. I know that this blog will help you put the practices in place to allow you to finally slowdown, let God be God and finally be healed in Jesus name.  

Time for a testimony

                I personally am at the lowest part of my life right now. The only constant that I have ever had in my life was my Father Daniel, He passed on November 17th.This has devastated me and sent me in a downward spiral and my mental health now is slightly out of control and I know that I am not myself. I never learned growing up how to process emotions, I learned to shove them deep down and forget about them.I am 32 now and I have the mind of a teenager, this is just complete honesty. I am learning who I am, I am learning how to act like a mature adult, process emotions in a healthy way, and not run back to drugs and alcohol as an escape. Every single cell in my body wants to RUN AWAY from where I am living, because that is what I had always done. I wanted a quick fix when a problem came and I ran away. Traveling the country for five years had its fun times. However, the running away hindered my mental health and the ability to function as an adult. I have decided that I have done all I can do at this point, set up healthy boundaries,removed the stresses from my life for the moment and I am concentrating on my mental health and how to “properly function” (knowing that I will never be perfect, and have no plans for that). I am trusting that God has this. I am walking though this all with GOD, I must step out of the way, and let God be God.  As I stated, my father was the constant root in my life, and I relied on him for so much, God spoke to me and said, your earthly father is passed, I am your heavenly father; why can you not trust me and make me that constant root in your life now?

                I have no answer to his question: it left me speechless, and kind of slapped me across the face… so I have no choice but to just trust in blind faith, take the first step forward and start walking though it.

I love you and I am praying for you, God knows your needs.

A letter from the borderline personality to all humanity.

No one knows what it is like to be me, to walk where I have walked; to think my thoughts. no one knows how hard it is for me to make a choice and follow though with it. Yes, I am what you call “Flaky” this is because my mind sometimes will not let me follow through with something. Anxiety, fear, self-doubt, paranoia, absolute panic, depression and black and white thinking… ALL start to chatter in my head and will not let me stay stable and stick to something.

You say that I am not “normal”  I say; “there is no such thing as normal”. You say; “Mental health does not exist.” I say; “Lets ignore the person with the heart attack then, let that person die.” Ignoring my mental health is a death sentence for me. You call my behavior an “excuse” , I call it “I am trying”; sometimes it is a call for help, sometimes I cannot control it, most importantly; sometimes I do not even know I am acting a certain way and need someone to bring it to my attention.

Until you have walked in my shoes or taken the time to understand mental health; please do not judge me. You are not judging the person with the broken arm; you are helping that person, possibly praying for a speedy recovery. So, I pose a question; “Why because you cannot see my disease, is it not real to you?”

You cannot physically see the heart of a person who has just had a heart attack yet, you trust the doctors who gave them the diagnosis.

The only one who fully understands exactly where I am, what I have been though, what I am going through, and where I am going is God. I am not sorry that I have a mental health disorder. However, I am sorry if I have hurt you in some way. I do not even understand me yet, but I am working on it; day by day, moment by moment.

Don’t toss US away like expired milk, don’t write US off as “excuses”, reach out, take time to understand, ask questions: it is okay.

The hardest mental health disorder to treat is Borderline Personality Disorder, and we who have it need a support system: We are not giving up on our-self so, don’t give up on us!